Lucky Number 7 for the HSD. We’re going with a mustard sauce for this one. Crazy Jerry’s Mustard Gas to be specific. The first thing about this sauce that is very cool is the bottle. It comes in a little metal bottle with some great graphics of a scared looking man in a gas mask. It’s really unique and a great conversation piece at the table or on party chow layout.

Although this is a spicy mustard based sauce, it also contains pepper extract, so it’s not a pure mustard sauce. That’s okay though, at least for mustard lovers who also love hot sauce. When I broke out this little bottle, my wife looked at me like I was insane. She was a little hesitant, okay, very hesitant considering the look of the container. It really was quite amusing and after some gentle prodding (read: calling her a wimp), she agreed to partake in the tasting. Peer pressure works again.

In addition to the pepper extract and obvious mustard (seeds and oil), Crazy Jerry’s Mustard Gas also has vinegar, garlic, onion, tumeric, and the ever present secret blend of spices. Nothing artificial, which is, of course, a good thing. It may seem strange, but back in the day, this sauce could have been seen as medicinal. In fact, it could still be considered that today. Tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory as is capsaicin (pepper extract). Garlic has been proven to be a catalyst for your red blood cells to create hydrogen sulfide, a very powerful antioxidant. Hydrogen sulfide is actually poisonous at high levels, but the body is capable of regulating the manufacture of it when it occurs as a result of the natural process. So, eat all the garlic you want. You’ll get an upset stomach long before you have an issue with hydrogen sulfide poisoning. Though, you may smell like crap.

The reported health benefits of mustard are widely documented and make up a very long list. Christine Roberts of Natural News has a great article on that here and it’s worth the quick read.

Okay, seems like my geek hat is becoming a geek hair weave, so back to the sauce. Crack open the bottle and take a whiff- it’s unmistakably mustard. I am a mustard fan, but my exposure to different types and blends is limited to the grocery store bought stuff (up to now) and Coleman’s- the powder form that you mix up yourself. I was introduced to that stuff by a Brit who ran a sausage and dog stand near the main gate of Camp Pendleton in California. It’s great, but can be tough to mix up just the right amount of powder and water for a consistent bite and texture. Most of the time, it ends up being too watery. Sure, I’m an amateur mustard mixer, but that’s life.

I say all of that, because the smell of Crazy Jerry’s Mustard Gas reminds me of that stuff. It has the signature nasally burn smell as opposed to the mouth and throat burn associated with the smell of peppers. Okay, going to add a few ties to the weave here. So, why does mustard burn in your nose instead of in your throat? Technically, it’s because of Allyl Isothiocyanate, the chemical compound found in mustard oils. It’s the mustard equivalent of capsaicin. The reason it burns for a second in your mouth and then up your nose and sinuses is because it vaporizes much more quickly off of your tongue. So, your saying, “vaporizes?” Yes, it does in fact become a gas and that gas affects your mucus membranes. Don’t worry, it’s not damaging- unless you’re allergic to it that is. Capsaicin does not vaporize quickly, hence the longer lasting burn in your mouth and down your throat when you swallow it. The name “Mustard Gas” is much more apt than just a catchy label.

So, what to do with this stuff? There’s the obvious, of course: dogs, brats, “samiches” (as my daughter says), etc. Years ago, though, I took a long shot and made some steaks with a mustard marinade. It was fantastic and later found that there is a recipe called “Steak Diane” that uses mustard as a significant ingredient. Honestly, the recipe for Steak Diane is a little more than I usually have time and will for, so I have my own: Mayo, mustard, black pepper, salt, garlic powder, and Worcestershire. Sorry, no proportions- I just throw it all in a gallon size ziploc and follow with tossing in the steaks to marinate. Trust me on this one, it’s great. If you have a tough steak, get yourself some bromelaine and rub the steak down and let it sit for about an hour in the fridge before marinating. Bromelaine is a natural component of pineapple rind that makes a great meat tenderizer and also happens to have digestive benefits as well as anti-inflammatory properties (if taken on an empty stomach). It will add an ever so slightly sweet flavor, but it’s barely noticeable.

Before we get into that, though, the straight up taste taste had to happen. We just went for the pour a drop on the spoon method. It’s an interesting sensation. As you would expect, the nasally burn is ever present. There is a slight pepper burn too though, so you get the double whammy. The pepper burn is short lived and the mustard burn does hang around for a bit longer. It’s strong enough to make our eyes water straight out of the bottle, but we’re not looking like we just came out of the military gas chamber qualification (if you’ve done that, you know exactly what I mean). It has a more fluid consistency than the mustard you squeeze out of a plastic tube, but we both actually like that since it will be easier to get it all over foods and mix into more complex sauces and marinades. Heat level on this one is a two-parter. The mustard heat is about a 6 for spicy mustards, the pepper heat is around a 3.

We went right in for the steaks. Just substituted Crazy Jerry’s Mustard Gas for ordinary mustard. Great move. A lot of the spiciness from the mustard cooks off on the grill. It does vaporize after all. Enough remains, however, to keep it interesting. The pepper heat sticks around pretty well, but again is not an overwhelming heat to begin with. All of the other spices Crazy Jerry includes really compliment this marinade mixture and the result is a juicy, flavorful, and tangy steak. My wife has to eat some sort of veggies with every meal, it’s just a thing. So, she cooked up some fresh cabbage and sautéed it with apples. Not my first choice as a side dish for a steak, but it is a good side to taste Mustard Gas with- cabbage and mustard are a seemingly natural pairing. We went with straight Mustard gas for the cabbage. The heat seems to be progressive, as in the longer you continue to eat it, the bigger the bang seems to get. My wife went pretty liberal with her first taste and the evidence was clear: unless you want to shed tears and put on a Charlie Sheen face, go easy on the straight sauce. If you have a stuffed up nose, go heavy and you won’t for long. I was a bit more conservative and really enjoyed it on the cabbage too.

The bottom line: Heat is a 6 for the mustard, 3 for the peppers. Flavor is a solid 7. It’s not a pure hot sauce and not a pure mustard sauce, but it is a great fusion of the two that is more mustard than hot sauce.